Doctor Who Logo 'The Man Who
Never Was'

(Part 2)

by Gareth Roberts
The Sarah Jane Adventures - Cast

As the diminutive, one-eyed creatures close in on them, Luke and Sky brace themselves for the worst; but to their surprise, the supervisor, Plark, implores them to run and escape. Looking at the monitor screen, Sky is shocked to see the angry Mr Harrison about to shoot Sarah with an alien-looking gun; she immediately leaps for the hologram controls, sending Serf into a frenzy that sends Harrison’s shot wild. Sarah makes a run for it, only to be grabbed by a security guard and her sonic lipstick confiscated. Harrison is furious at the apparent failure of his workers: he activates a pen-like control device that sends a surge of agonising energy through the collars the creatures wear around their necks. Looking at his monitor, Harrison sees that Luke and Sky are in the control room – the ‘Light Chamber’ – and he orders their immediate capture. As an alarm blares out, Plark urges the two kids to run, but they swiftly are captured by guards. Escorted to the sub-basement, Sarah rejoins her children and then watches in outrage as Harrison punishes Plark with an even stronger surge of painful energy; Sarah protests, but Harrison ignores her – he paid good money for the Scullions. Hearing that the aliens are the survivors of a spaceship that crashed in Central Asia, who were then sold as slaves on the black market, Sarah is appalled; but Harrison doesn’t care – he only cares about making a profit: he intends to activate the hologramatic Serf’s hypnotic power in the upcoming press conference, transmitting it across the world to make everyone buy the SerfBoard. Locking Luke and Sky in a storeroom, and Sarah in another, Harrison heads upstairs to prepare for the upcoming press launch. Sarah finds herself locked in with another prisoner, the cleaner, Adriana, who explains how she met one of the Scullions who was trying to escape, only for them both to be captured by guards. Back at No.13, Bannerman road, Clyde and Rani watch a news report on the forthcoming launch of the SerfBoard; worried that their calls to their friends have gone unanswered, Rani comes up with a plan… Luke and Sky are given food by Plank; Luke offers his bottle of water to the supervisor, but the creature refuses: water is harmful to his kind, who can only drink citrus-juice. After Plark leaves, Luke and Sky wonder how they can help free the slaves; then Sky has an idea: by using the dog- whistle that Luke uses to call K-9, they can send a message to Mr Smith… In the attic, a suited-and-booted Clyde watches as Rani and Mr Smith complete work on two fake press-passes: they are now Trevor and Janet Sharp, two journalists from ‘Twilight Years’, a magazine for the over 60’s – the real couple having been stranded at the airport due to a “computer malfunction”. Mr Smith then receives a high-pitched transmission on K-9’s wavelength, a Morse-code message from Luke: “CLANI GRAB HARRISONS PEN.” Back at Serf Systems, Sarah and Adriana’s guard investigates the ruckus they are making – and gets sent sprawling by a jury-rigged tripwire, allowing the two prisoners to escape. In the Light Chamber, Harrison informs the Scullions that they are now working for their lives: if the press launch is not a success, they will die. When Plark asks for a drink, the evil businessman sprays his slaves with water, burning them… While Sarah and Adriana free Luke and Sky, Clyde and Rani arrive at the main foyer and begin their search for Harrison; they soon spot him, and the control pen he holds… Reaching the control room, Sarah, Luke, Sky and Adriana see Clyde and Rani on the monitor screen, watching as the two ‘journalists’ meet Lionel Carson, and then edge nearer to Harrison. Disguised as a cleaner, Sarah uses a corporate phone to contact Mr Smith; acting under her orders, the Xylok computer sends a message to the planet Scultos, requesting that a rescue mission be sent to the roof of Serf Systems. Rani’s attempts to grab Harrison’s pen fail dismally, but Clyde does better: by bumping into the PR man, he manages to switch the control device for a normal pen. Seeing that they are now free of their master’s control, Plark and the rest of the Scullions follow Sarah and Adrian up to the roof to meet the rescue ship. Following Lionel and the rest of the journalists into the auditorium, Clyde and Rani take their seats as the video trailer of Serf plays on the main screen; unfortunately Harrison then appears, and reclaims his stolen pen from ‘Trevor’… Seeing that the PR man has his control device back, Sky and Luke drive the hologram themselves, and as the audience looks on, Joseph Serf shambles onto the stage and proceeds to give an extremely bizarre presentation. Furious and confused, Harrison activates his pen – and up on the roof, the Scullions collapse in the worst agony they have ever experienced. Using the hologram’s speech and hypno controls, Sky makes Serf compel his audience to grab the pen from Harrison: Lionel leads the rush, and he seizes the device from the astonished PR man and promptly stamps it into pieces. To Harrison’s further dismay, Serf then orders his guests to go away and tell everyone that the SerfBoard is utter rubbish! Taking over Serf’s voice, Luke tells “Clani” to head up to the roof, and then shits down Serf’s hologram. However, Harrison overhears, and he races ahead of the duo: appearing before Sarah, Adriana and the terrified Scullions, Harrison pulls out his gun – just as an enormous, circular spaceship appears overhead. In the confusion Rani grabs Harrison’s weapon, holding him at bay as a green teleport beam stabs down from on high and envelops the excited Scullions. As Plark bids goodbye to Sarah and the gang, Harrison rushes forward to grab them – and he and the aliens are all teleported into the ship, which immediately speeds off into the sky. After Luke voices the hope that Harrison will become a slave on the Scullions’ planet, Adriana wonders what she will do now that she has lost her job; but Sarah is always able to help, and recommends that she give U.N.I.T. a call… Sometime later, Sarah, Clyde, Rani and Sky watch a news report detailing Joseph Serf’s sudden unexplained disappearance. Sent by Rani to help Luke, Sky finds her brother in her room putting up a picture that Clyde has drawn: it depicts Sky, with the legend ‘Sky’s Room’; overjoyed, Sky gives Luke a hug…

Sarah Jane continues her amazing adventures with her family and friends:

“And the story goes on…


Elisabeth Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith), Thomas Knight (Luke Smith), Daniel Anthony (Clyde Langer), Anjli Mohindra (Rani Chandra), Sinead Michael (Sky Smith), Alexander Armstrong (Mr Smith [Voice]), Mark Aiken (Joseph Serf), James Dreyfus (John Harrison), Edyta Budnik (Adriana), Peter Bowles (Lionel Carson), Dan Starkey (Plark), Jason Mohammad (Newsreader)

Directed by Ashley Way
Produced by Brian Minchin
Executive Producers Russell T Davies and Nikki Wilson
A BBC Wales production

18th October 2011 @ 5.15 pm

*Featuring Sarah Jane Smith, Luke, Clyde, Rani, Sky and Mr Smith

*Working title: 'The Man Who Wasn't There'

*As a fitting tribute to the late Elisabeth Sladen, CBBC transmitted every episode of ‘The Sarah Jane Adventures’ across the following week, which was School Half Term